Best Mark 3 Changes for Each Faction

NOTICE: this is a joke article full of humor. For real updates on Mark 3, go here.

 

I like writing these kinds of articles.

Let's face it - we know basically nothing useful to have any kind of meaningful discussion of any kind about Mark 3. Privateer Press has doled out just enough information for us to know that a lot is changing, but no where near enough for us to have a solid idea of what anything will actually be. Core rules, faction identities, character playstyles, general strength: all of it is up in the air. 

So instead of the typical things like "OMG WHAT IF THIS IS AWESOME" or "Does this mean tier lists are going away?" that don't have an answer worth addressing, let's just talk about what should happen.

Cygnar

Haley dies.

Protectorate of Menoth

Reznik kills Haley by wracking her, denying her the god abilities that saved her last time. Menoth gets a new character Wrack - Epic Haley, God Pretender of the Swans.

Khador

Man-O-Wars are recognized as the light jacks they were meant to be and get to be allocated focus, which they can use to make Power Attacks, boost attacks, or buy attacks, but they also continue to act as infantry. Because the first thing we need in a new ruleset is a unit with conflicting and confusing rules.

Cryx

After progressively needing to nerf every Cryx caster one at a time for the entire duration of Mark 2, Privateer Press decides this is the perfect time to just nerf them all at once. They are all nerfed again in an errata to be released exactly 107.4 hours before Warmachine Weekend Masters.

Retribution of Scyrah

It is decided that the Mage Hunter Assassin is the pinnacle of fun design. All Ret models lose 2 MAT and RAT, but all weapons gain Decapitation.

Mercenaries

After a big Mercenary convention during the 2 year hiatus we expect to see in the fluff, the pirates, resistance fighters, thugs, Steelheads, dwarves, and body snatchers decide to join together and become an actual faction residing in Ord. The initial book features them conquering Cygnar, and founding a new nation. Cygnar now becomes the "Merc" faction it always wanted to be while Magnus and Co get to join the big boys. Also, they decide not to share anymore - Mercenary models no longer work for any factions except Mercenaries.

Convergence of Cyriss

Privateer Press decides that instead of changing their previous position on Convergence releases, they will ignore this faction entirely in the transition to Mark 3.

Trollbloods

Following the success of Age of Sigmar, Privateer Press decides to test some similar rules with Trollbloods. You gain +X on your starting roll if you roar angrily at your opponent, "For Kith and Kriel!" where X is equal to whatever number you opponent thinks your roar deserves. When making a Tough check, instead of rolling a die, hand a hammer to your opponent and allow him to smash your model. If it remains 50% intact after one strike, your model does not die. Finally, when using the Krielstone, you must continuously chant "Oohhhmmmmmmm" over and over again without stopping, or you immediately lose the bonuses from the Krielstone.

Circle Oroboros

Double port is back! Shifting Stones are able to teleport a model that has already been teleported. But when teleported, a model must sacrifice movement or action, cannot be forced, suffers -2 DEF and ARM, is knocked down after it activates, cannot make ranged attacks, must pass a command check or flee (the only instance in the game where this rule remains in effect) and immediately frenzies.

Legion of Everblight

Eyeless Sight removed. To fix the thousands of models out there now without eyes, Privateer Press gives away thousands of pairs of googly eyes for players to easily stick on their models. No one is able to take Legion seriously ever again because of all the googly eyes.

Skorne

Who?

Minions

The Splatter Boar is removed from the game. Three days of actually being able to play that insane Carver list is enough to convince Privateer Press that the entire models must be retired, a monument to mistakes from Mark 2.

 

Now back to the regularly anticipated wish-listing for the next two months until we get actual rules.